HomoNeurotic

LIVE BLOG?! Sure, why not?!

So I'm not working today Praise his name! and I decided, "What better way to spend an afternoon?" Load up the most recently qued NetFlix delivery and tell peoples what you think of it!

What's on the chopping block?! PUN! 2008's Dorothy Mills

As read by the dramatic Woman Lifetime Voice

Going into the movie I have high expectations. Then again trailers can make just about ANYTHING look interesting. Sorry David Goyer, I'm gonna have to send this one back to the chef.

I enjoy a good scare. I think many of lifes questions and curiosities can be answered by watching psychological cinema. Something scary but meaningful. Something that can take you to a place of great fear but also great respect for life and love and happiness. You Appreciate.

I've heard/read nothing but positive about Dorothy Mills. The NetFlix Member Reviews have also been pretty positive. But I haven't read many since I don't want some dick slipping a spoiler in a review.

I'm already digging the trailers. Eden Lake and Suburban Mayhem look like films I would enjoy.

Alright...here we go!

So the sermon was...interesting. Discussing the idea that God is everywhere. That no matter where you are there He is. Except, this wasn't so much a "You shall look and find me there." but a "I see EVERYTHING!" Scary Jesus. From there it leads to a couple leaving a church, presumably heading towards the plot. Speaking of plots...maybe it'd be best if I didn't ruin this one by posting succession of spoilers on the Blog...be back in a shortly. In the meantime...


Get into her...



Wow...okay. So, where to begin? I enjoyed the film. It DID take you around the bend a few times. As someone that prides themselves on finding the big *Gasp* in a film. This one really got me. I did see the idea that Dorothy wasn't just a young girl with D.I.D.. It was a bit of a shock to find out how far the rabbit hole goes with regards to the towns secret. I thought perhaps the pious and prostrating Priest had a filthy hand in the matter (Which yes, in part it did) but he did keep his fingers out of the cookie jar so to speak.

I'll start with the positive aspects of the film. The flow was beautiful. One scene in particular with Jane Van Dopp the psychiatrist, played by dutch actress, Carice van Houten. She is speaking to the family of the child that Dorothy was watching and allegedly assaulted. One moment they were sitting having a conversation in the living room. The camera pans out from the psychiatrist and in the foreground are the parents arriving home to the scene being discussed. The events they are TELLING unfolding right in front of us, the audience.

I also enjoyed the small visual suggestions and imagery that showed us the director and cinematographer were invested in the film. There is a scene where Jane is reading a newspaper clipping regarding the young girl in question...and in the background is a photo of, "The Girl with the Pearl Earring". The visual similarities between the woman in this photo and Dorothy in my opinion are there. Now if we could draw some comparison between the alleged women that this painting depicts and the character, Dorothy, then we'd be in business...but that requires further reading...and no.

There are parts that jump outside of chronology, even from the beginning of the film we feel we're skipping between segments. Some longer than others are but STILL just puzzle pieces, part of a larger picture; one you have to take a step back and view. This can be difficult when a movie draws you in, much like this did for me. Then again I guess that's most of the fun. Feeling lost but not CONFUSED.

I enjoyed what Dorothy was. She was a young girl that lived within a small community. One that was supposed to be close nit and loving, good God fearing folk but she feels dreadfully alone. The actress, Jenn Murray, that protrays Dorothy goes as far as to say, "I carried her around...for several months. It was quite depressing"

They

I did think there were a few funny/um really moments. Hmm...number one

I wish I had stills...

asks about how long it would take for the repairs on her car to be completed. Um, her car looked like it had been driven off of a bridge, dumped in a lake and dragged for about 3 miles before being tugged up a hill and pulled 10 miles to the closest gas station...which just so happens to be the back of someone's house. Oh that's right...

Number Two

Another part is where Jane is having a conversation with Colin Garrivan played by, David Wilmot. The man who on the surface provides a level of stability and guardianship for Jane. He knows the ways of the town and tries to warn her that her snooping is causing issues with the locals. They are having a rather heated discussion about teenagers she swears she saw outside her bedroom window last night. The same teenagers, she says, that caused her car accident when she first arrived at the island.

Jane: Don't...Don't you believe me? I'm not Crazy.

Colin: Of course I believe you *Hands her a drink*...here have a drink.

Yes, people usually make sound decisions after a night of booze. Just ask THIS WOMAN

I think that this is meant to be much more than a horror/slasher film. I would classify this as a psychological thriller. This is a story of seclusion and pressure. "The weight of the religious authority in this film is very tangible" says one actor and I couldn't agree more. They obey. Pastor Ross who also serves as the islands doctor seems to appear to be one of the only figures of authority. This is a man so set in his beliefs and ways. That God is watching always. He himself must somehow question his views when the truth beneath the surface is revealed. This community trembles in the face of God and his judgment and some do so for VERY good reason.

All in all it was a pretty amazing ride. Humor, horror, suspense, and questioning of faith in God and Man.






.

Um...What?

So the Palm Pre is the newest of the new with regards to Smart Phones. There have been rave reviews in from CNet As well as from every day consumers all over the world and even PreCentral.Net This is all well and good. I've heard wonderful things from my friends as well...but WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE COMMERCIALS?!



I saw this and I was like, "Is this going to be an advertisement for some sort of religion?



I mean...do we really need more introspective and inventive ways to sell products. I've noticed that even though we're in a recession the excessive lifestyles that we as Americans live have HARDLY suffered. Their marketing team should know this. Perhaps they DO know this.



I have a question. Do you ever have one of those days where you watch a really weird commercial and it completely ruins your opinion of the product?

Arthur Petrelli stole my interest in , "Heroes"

What...the...Fuck?! I will try my best to process this as much as possible but I have difficulty writing recaps. I seem to be more conversational in my critiques than ruthless in my reviews. Okay, so this episode was marginally interesting. Can I start with Hiro and Claire being in the future past? Hiro unable to understand English and Claire unable to hide that weave on her scalp are watching over the Nakamura family as baby Claire-bear is placed in the hands of Noah...mmm, I totally want to ride Noahs Ark. Anywhore, after Noah leaves to take the future queen of "Why Me" home to his wife Small Wonder and Hiro watch over Mr. and Mrs. Nakamura as they discuss, "The Catalyst" and giving it to Claire. Mama says she wants to keep it in the family, i.e. Hiro and Papa says 10 year old Hiro is too irresponsible. All he cares about is comic books and having fun and loving life which apparently no 10 year old should be preoccupied with. They somehow come the the conclusion that Hiro must inherit the powers, how they both come to the same conclusion while neither one of them speaks the same language I will never know, there by making Claire's life less complicated and Hiro the well...Hero. Claire decides to follower Noah and Hiro is accosted by his father who is under the impression that he is their new cook. He wants Hiro to make Mama Nakamura tamago (yes Kip..I know what tamago is) for breakfast. Being the selfish 10 year old he is he just makes his mother waffles and orange juice...Mmm...I haven't had waffles in a WHILE. He feeds her and they have a heart to heart once she finds out she's staring to the face of the grown son she'll never get the chance to see because she's dying. She gives him the catalyst, blah blah blah, dies, blah blah Hiro is sad-faced.

We are also reacquainted with the brooding Sylar which always made my bottle pop. The sensitive and torn Book Store stooge just didn't do it for me and neither did the road to redemption Sylar 2.0. He had to unfortunately kill Elle which was a long time coming. Her character development was garbage. It's almost as if Kristin Bell did a Hari-Kari just so she wouldn't have to continue to play the roll of a bipolar lightening rod. Instead her character was mutilated and the set ablaze viking style by her lover/nemesis/protege. Sylar decides that Noah's words haunted him...are Papa and Mama Petrelli simply using him as an incredibly hot pawn in their quest for dominance or is he really part of the family? Armed with Elle's cellphone, which somehow has an entire fucking Zagat guide of mutants people with special abilities Sylar decides to pay a visit to a lonely office drone to steal her powers. Now...I didn't so much have a problem with the scene that later develops as much as I had a problem with her power. You mean to tell me that this guy who has an entire arsenal of abilities covets a bitch who can sniff out a goddamn lie?! Are you serious?! Not just that but did this hoe become special the day before yesterday? I see a menacing man in my office out of no where saying, "I have a delivery for you." and my spider senses start tingling, the LAST thing I'm going to do is alert him to the fact that I smell his bullshit. Double U Tee EFF-AH!?! . She got what she deserved. She's a step up on the evolutionary ladder and she still doesn't have to common sense that a PSA on stranger danger would alert you to then perhaps she's played her part in the world. Darwin would be PISSED!Also, where WERE Sylar and Elle dropped off? The nexis of the entire world? He can travel to this womans office to kill her and then travel to Pinehurst in a matter of hours and still have time to change, UGH! I do love the scene when her co-workers popped in with a cake and she's just been butchers by her desk. Everyones expression is priceless and I got all jazzed when Sylar said, "Oh...cake" and closed the door. Something about an impending massacre always makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

On to more ranting. Next up? Daphne...oh dear dear Daphne. When this speedster slut showed up at the fucking messenger depot with Ando and Parkman in tow I had to press pause...did I really just see that happen? Did she ACTUALLY bring them with her? How is this possible? Was she carrying them on her tiny sparrow like shoulders or did she drag them across the city? Too many variables and not enough thinking by the writers in my opinion. Now why are all three of them at this location? They need to find the post-humorous work of the coked out clairvoyant to see what has become of Hiro.

Okay, sidebar. Why the hell did the nerds of the round table send these three out to search for these sketches like it was the fucking holy grail? I hope our Heroes don't trust those sketches in their hands or else they'll be returned covered in fan boy jizz.

The Heroes encounter the dispatcher who says, "I dunno nothing bout no stinkin' skeeetches" and then Parkman does his Parkinsons twitch and sees that he's lying. When the guy goes to get the sketches he decides to take a stroll instead. He high tails it on a bike and Daphne decides to take chase. Instead of just snatching it off of him she stands all triumphant in his way so that he must swerve from hitting her (first mistake, if you EVER have the opportunity to hit Daphne. Do it...ALWAYS...EVER!) Then she turns and gives us the fucking three quarter profile of triumphant cockiness and all I can think is.

"SMUG SLUT!"


The trio read over the sketches and find out it's entitled, "Hiro: lost in time" or some shit and all I can think is, "How? How is that possible? The only way he'd be able to do that is if Arthur Petrelli somehow finds them in the past at the exact time it was necessary for him to steal the catalyst from Hiro's ailing mommy but...he can't travel back in time. I mean if he could, wouldn't he have just bypassed all that searching and gone back in time and stolen it from her in the first place?" Ooh, Justin. You're so silly. This script isn't based upon any logic/continuity/or integrity. Jump back to the blah after heroes mommy takes a dirt nap(figuratively) he meets Claire outside on some balcony to discuss the catalyst. Out of NO WHERE the Papa Petrelli arrives and knocks Claire to the ground...NOT off the roof. He then takes ALL of Hiros powers and knocks him OFF the roof and sends Claire, "Back to the Future". Then we pan to Hiro holding on to some fucking flag pole for dear life.

All this time the uninteresting one has been traveling to NY, Hatian in tow, to assassinate his father. The Hatian tries to talk him out of it because he thinks Blander Petrelli is too fragile to commit matricide. They then infiltrated the Primatech Pinehurst and managed to get past their elite security team which consisted of like...a guy and a half or something, all the way up to the penthouse suite where the Petrelli patriarch was waiting patiently to be murdered? After some uninteresting dialogue and Arthur's show of RAW POWER! Sylar comes in to save the day, see also; Kill Arthur Petrelli. After his body orbed like a freaking white lighter off of Charmed I had had too much, my DVR knew what was best for me and decided the rest wasn't as important to see.

GOD / SANTA / THE BOOGEYMAN.

I was just thinking this morning, "You know. There is a bit of commonality between these figures."


Always Observing.

God: "God is watching us...from a distance"

Santa: "He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake."

The Boogeyman: "Whenever I close my eyes...
I can feel his hot breathe on my face."

~~~~~~~

The Swift Hand of Justice.

God: "AIDS"

Santa: "Coal in the stocking or no gifts on christmas"

The Boogeyman: "If you lie to your parents...
He will come for you in the still of night."

~~~~~~~

Networking!

God: "Appointed angels and saints to various tasks."

Santa: "A staff of elves, snowmen, reindeer, and lil helpers"

The Boogeyman: "The goblins that sleep in your underwear drawer,
The monster that hides in your closet
The mischievous minions that place glass in your pillow."

~~~~~~~

Behold..THE POWER!

God: "Was able to create man..."

Santa: "Is able to deliver present to every (good) child
Throughout the world in one night. Though having the
Good judgment not to enter war torn countries."

The Boogeyman: "Convinced your parents that he does not exits...
They are WRONG!"

~~~~~~~

Location, Location, Location

God: "Heaven"

Santa: "The North Pole"

The Boogeyman: "Under your bed but he also has a timeshare
with the monster that lives in your closet
and the worms that burrow in your belly."

Looks like Christmas came early...and ALL over her face!

Aubrey O'Day has gone to new heights of whore-dom. She decided to prove to Puffy and the rest of Danity Lame that she isn't a hoe bag by posing for Playboy. Apparently all this will be released sometime within the next month. Hide your boyfriends because she will reach through the pages of this magazine and trap their cocks with her coochie cobwebs. I'm just kidding, Aubrey's cooze hasn't had a day of in YEARS. If it bears any cobwebs it's only for Halloween decorations. I used to be so Pro this hoe. I HONESTLY thought that Diddy was pimping her ass out on the sly and turning her into a hoe stroll superstar but alas...this is ALL self induced. I hope honestly that she can find her way out of this bimbo black hole and actually do something with herself...Do SomeTHING...NOT SomeONE.

Ewwwww-AH!

Um...Boo!

Since Beyonce has married Jay Z and Solange has gone just about as far as her sister coattails will allow Tina Knowles needs a new project. With Dereon Girls "Mother May I" has taken on the mission of getting young girls everywhere ready for that Hoe Stroll. Go from playground to penthouse in under 10 years! These girls have got sass and plenty of class! I'm sorry, but the combination of makeup, feather boas, and pimp hats don't even belong on the trash that performed at Chaos; why they hell would you put them on a child?! You know what? Just go the extra mile and come out with a Dereon Girls lingerie line. Better yet, put these lil vixens on a pole and let them earn money the old fashioned way. Climb that corporate ladder GIRLFRIEND!